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wowow what's this? a blog?? yea idrk either but if you want you can click the entries on the left to read some of my scrambled thoughts :]

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date: 27/03/2023
title: intro!
funny image: gaming.jpg

hello hello!
i've been thinking of setting up a kind of blog thingy for ages, and i finally went ahead and did it (!!!) idk if anyone will ever read this (if so: that's awesome!! ur cool btw), but tbh i just wanted a place to write out my thoughts bc i have way to many of those lmao. things you can expect here include: so yeah this place probably won't be used as a diary (except if something absolutely fucking bonkers happens in my life), but more for rambles and the like. also i don't think i will be talking about upsetting topics here, but if that happens i'll make sure to add trigger warnings. also also i'll probably revamp this page in the future to make it look a bit more nice, but for now it works lol. thanks for reading this far and talk to you all soon :]

<- us rn
date: 01/05/2023
title: rpgmaker horror games uaagh
funny image: jerma-help.jpg

!! this entry is pretty outdated (as i've played more stuff & my opinion on some of these games has changed), so i will be updating it in the near future !!


hi everyone, today is the day i get to go full autism mode and talk about one of my biggest specialest interests ever: rpgmaker horror games! strap in bc it's gonna be a long one (oops).

if you're not familiar, rpgmaker is a japanese game engine originally released in 1992 that allows users to make their own rpg's fairly easily. it didn't take long before people realised you could make more than just rpg's with it, and thus the genre known as rpgmaker horror was born. there's no real definition of this genre so it's kind of hard to explain, but most games that fall under it share similar aesthetics/mechanics/vibes. there are 2 broad categories of rpgmaker horror games, namely A) exploration games where you wander through fucked-up environments (like yume nikki) and B) adventure/story-oriented horror games (like your turn to die). a lot of them also include puzzle elements and/or turn-based battle systems.

i first got introduced to the genre back when i was like 13 and they had a massive impact on my development (and maybe gave me brain damage). so today i wanted to talk about my favorites :]

some quick things before i start ranting:

played in: late 2010s
developer: kikiyama

uuu yume nikki... this game is so cool. tbh, if you've read this far you've probably already played it (it's probably the most famous rpgmaker horror game) but i'll try to explain it anyways. it's basically an exploration game in which you wander through surreal dream worlds. the goal is... well, there kind of isn't one? you can find these items called "effects" which give you access to different dream worlds, in which you can find secret events and the like. though, when i first played the game i didn't understand that at all lmao. the game and its art still had a massive impact on me and messed up my brain chemicals for sure. it's pretty hard to explain what it is exactly, but this game has a very unique atmosphere that hit very close to home for 14 y/o me (.....it's the dissociation isn't it). if you've somehow never played yume nikki, you should definitely give it a go - it's free on steam! :]

fanart by ciatoru screenshot


played in: 2023
developer: nankidai

while i absolutely adore all games on this list, your turn to die (or yttd) is probably the one i love the most! it might actually be my favorite game of all time?? but tbh it's probably a tie between yttd and disco elysium.

anyways, your turn to die is a visual novel/survival horror game about a group of people who are trapped in a death game and have to kill each other though majority vote (hence the subtitle "death game by majority"). it's actually a pretty cliche premise, but i cannot state enough how fucking masterfully it's executed. if i had to compare it to anything it'd probably be ace attorney? (despite this being a horror game lol.) it's pretty hard to talk about the plot of yttd without spoiling anything, but istg nankidai is such a genius writer.

another aspect of yttd that really makes it stand out are it's characters. in a lot of VNs the characters tend to be stereotypes, but all the characters in yttd are unique and multi-dimensional in ways that sometimes only become clear later on in the game (my personal favorites being gin and sou :])

so yea, this game is an absolute masterpiece and you should play it if you like point & click mystery games! it's on steam and you can play it in-browser for free. though keep in mind that the final chapter (ch3 part 2) hasn't actually come out yet. if you want to know more about the game, i highly recommend adilene's yttd shrine, it gives a short introduction to all the characters, as well as a taste of the game's setting :^)

(also the music for this game absolutely SLAPS.)

fanart by kizutea screenshot


&

played in: 2017
developer: △○□× (Miwashiba)

ok so not gonna lie (hahah get it), because of my memory problems and because i played these games when my english wasn't very good yet, i don't remember much about them. like, at all. they're both rpg's by △○□× (Miwashiba) in which you explore and solve puzzles. alicemare is about a boy with amnesia who tries to uncover his past while exploring fairytale-like environments, while lieat is a 3-part series about a con artist and a dragon girl who travel trough different towns. while i don't remember much else, they definitely had a very strong impact on me - along with undertale, they were the first games in the rpgmaker genre that i ever played! they were definitely my gateway drug into rpgmaker horror as a whole, and i remember being blown away by their overall aesthetics. because of all this i still treasure these games dearly. i should probably replay them some day...

screenshot of alicemare screenshot of lieat


played in: 2021
developer: omocat

to be honest, playing this game felt so surreal to me. i remember watching one of the trailers in like 2017, and could not WAIT to play this game even from seeing +/- 2 minutes of vague drawings. so when i found out in 2021 that the game had actually come out, my brain fucking imploded. and holy shit was it worth the wait.

i won't go into too much detail here bc if you know you know and if you haven't played omori yet - what are you even doing here go play it right now (!!!) the characters are absolutely fenomenal, the art and music?? are insane?? and the story made me cry like 15 times (i actually remember crying for about an hour straight while playing this game *thumbs up emoji). ngl, i'm not really in the omori fanbase anymore bc it is uhhh kinda intense lmao. still it is absolutely worth playing!

fanart by asteraws screenshot


played in: 2023
developer: kouri

ib is an exploration/puzzle game about a little girl (called ib) who visits and art gallery with her parents. no haunted paintings or demons in this one i promise :)))

the game originally game out in 2012 as freeware for microsoft windows, but a remake was released in 2022 on steam (it's also on switch now i believe?). the remake includes new puzzles, endings and updated graphics. i never played this game as a kid so the remake is actually the first one i played and it's really great! ^^ (garry my beloved..)

fanart by kirvia screenshot (2012 release)


played in: 2018
developer: future cat

ONESHOT AAGG IM LOVE ONESJHOT

this is another one of those games that really shaped me into the person i am today. it's an adventure/puzzle game in which you guide a child (niko) through a futuristic world on a mission to restore it's long-dead sun. the game originally came out in 2014, with the remake being released in 2016. both releases include some meta elements, but the first one had this very unique mechanic where if you closed the game niko would die (hence the name onshot; you could only play the game once). in 2017, a bonus chapter was released (called solstice) that i for some reason still haven't played bc my brain sometimes does not let me do things i want to do. i will definitely give an update once i finish it though! :]

though oneshot is not a horror game in the traditional sense, it was still pretty scary for my child self lol. some things that i really love about this game are the world building, the music, and the character designs. if you've never played it and you love these types of weird meta games, you should definitely give it a shot!

CG of niko and rowbot #310 gameplay screenshot (2016 release)


&

played in: 2022
developer: nikita kryukov

i kinda debated putting these games on here bc they're not made in rpgmaker but i ultimately decided to put them here anyways because:

  1. they're epic
  2. they have really similar themes to other rpgmaker horror games
  3. they're some of the best horror games i've ever played.
basically if you have brain issues and/or love creepy pixel art, play these games. they're about a girl who buys milk. the first one (milk inside a bag of milk) costs like 5 cents.

screenshot of milk1 screenshot of milk2


played in: 2022
developer: io

flesh blood and concrete is probably one of the newest and lesser known games on this list, but it's really cool! it's an exploration game like yume nikki and ib, but it has this very unique setting of a desolated (and fleshy) siberian appartment complex. despite being a pretty short game, it's definitely worth playing even for the stunning pixel art alone. also the story/main message of the game is very sweet imo, and the protagonist is trans :^)

also definitely check out the dev's site as they are on neocities as well!

art by io (the dev) screenshot


that's it for now! i know there's still a lot of games i'm missing out on, some i really want to play in the future are:

- witch's heart
- the witch's house
- hello charlotte (and everything else by etherane)
- off
- like 50 different games on itch.io lol

feel free to message me any suggestions for other games/thoughts about the ones i listed, i love talking about this stuff. as always thanks for reading and hope you're well!

if you've read this far holy shit you deserve a sticker:

date: 11/06/2023
title: summer game fest & turning 20....
funny image: new-mexico.jpg

ok sooo i know i said i wasn't really going to use this space as a diary, but um yea. there's been some things and i want to talk about them so here we are lol.

first of all, summer game fest is this week yippee!! ngl i do kinda miss E3 since now there's just a bunch of disconnected showcases, but it's still one of my favorite times of year. i love seeing all the new upcoming games - especially the indie games - so i wanted to quickly share my favorite announcements! also there was a new showcase this year called the Access-Ability Summer Showcase which spotlights games made by disabled developers and it was lovely. definitely check it out if you haven't already :]

so anyways, here are my favorite games out of the ones that have been showcased to far: (might update later)


✦ honorable mentions: ✦
Beastieball, Demonschool, In Stars And Time, Death Trick: Double Blind.

so yeah summer game fest has been really fun so far imo! it has definitely helped me keep my mind off the stress from my exams (god help me) and from the fact that i'm turning 20 years old in like. 4 days help. tbh i still have no clue what i want to do with my life, and frankly i don't feel like an adult at all.. but on the other hand i'm quite lucky i even made it this far. so happy birth to me ig *explodes

oh also happy pride month!! and stay strong everyone who's experiencing a heat wave currently (over here it's over 30°C and i'm evaporating)



update 13/06/2023

FUCKING. APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY JUST GOT ANNOUNCED YIPPEEEE!!!!! i'll try to stay normal until it comes out in 2024 (and fail miserably)

date: 14/04/2024
title: goodbye 3DS (+misc stuff)
funny image: 3ds-amen.jpg

hi again! it's been a while. to be honest, i've been wanting to update my site for a long time now, but between uni and mental health issues it's been very daunting. a lot of things on this site are outdated, but at the same time i have so many ideas for new pages that i end up doing nothing at all lol. right now there are a lot things i want to talk about though, so here i am with a blog post! :] if you're reading this: hope you've been well as always. sending you virtual headpats :>

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▶ goodbye 3DS

if you hadn't heard, last monday (8 april) online support for the 3DS and Wii U was sadly discontinued, meaning it's not possible to play online games on those systems anymore. they aren't dead, but it feels like the end of an era regardless. it's kind of insane nintendo is already shutting down support for systems released 12-13 years ago (especially since the xbox 360 and ps3 still have online support) but you know how they are...

the DS and 3DS are my favorite gaming systems of all time. i just love handheld gaming in general. idk, it feels very comforting to me. being able to take this tiny device with you anywhere you want to play games with other people?? incredible. and silly little things like streetpass, pictochat, flipnote studio, custom themes, etc made it extra fun for me. i love the switch too, but it feels kind of bland and empty in comparison imo, both bc of the UI and because it doesn't have those additional features.

so anyways. last monday, in the hours leading up to the end of nintendo network, i picked up my 3DS and visited the acnl dream suite for the final time. i also tried to play mario kart 7 online, but for that i had to update both the game and my 3DS system and since it was already getting late i didn't want to chance that lmao. so instead i did some wonder trades in pokémon moon until the servers shut down. my last wonder trade was with this person whose status was "bye! i love you!". ngl i cried lol.

something else that left me weirdly emotional is the ending of splatoon 1. i haven't even played the game (don't own a Wii U), but splatoon and its community are still very important to me. shoutout to the amazing art that people made, specifically this piece by stupjam and this one by @sumi_ko888. i fucking love splatoon so much aaa

THAT ALL BEING SAID: there is still hope!
there are still people playing on these systems - a couple days ago, i met someone in streetpass on the train(!!!). there's also Pretendo, which is an open-source nintendo network replacement that is currently building custom servers for the Wii U and 3DS! they're already 3/4th of the way done, and when they are, playing these games online will be possible again. furthermore, hacking your 3DS to play any game for free forever is super super easy (only took me a couple hours with no prior knowledge whatsoever). here are some links if you like game preservation :D

(hey also did you know you can play undertale on the 3DS? screaming crying etc)


on another note, i've been playing a lot of tomodachi life recently! very silly game. i made mii's of Kim Kisturagi and some of my oc's (2nd photo, left to right: Arson, Sterre, and Sepp). also jerma finally got tall :,)

idrk how to end this section. goodbye nintendo network. i love you <3

▶ misc 1: tamari plush!!!!!!

in other news: my tamari plush finally arrived today!! they're one of my favorite fictional characters ever so i'm very excited. can't wait to put them in all kinds of situations. will update soon with more pictures :)

<- wow it;s tamari

▶ misc 2: new red vox songs :]

another thing i've been very excited about are the new songs Red Vox released in the past 2 weeks! this is kinda obscure so if you didn't know, Red Vox is a band started by Vinny Vinesauce and Jabroni Mike, alongside their friend Bill and producer Joe. ngl i've been fixated on their music since december last year (i know i know, of course i like the vinesauce band lmao). so yea kind of going insane rn since just they just released 2 new songs:

  1. Garbage Land, which is an april fools song about rats. there's a jerma reference in there somewhere. it has no reason to go as hard as it does
  2. Clone Me, which is a more upbeat song similar to their earlier music. it's a fucking banger

go listen to them right now !!!!



PS - here's the source for the bap cat at the beginning! hope to god it worked lol

♪ ♬ ♪ ♬ ♪